OneShot Collection
by Hollowshirosaki413
Summary: I'm used. I know this. But…I can't bring myself to care. I'm too far deep for any return, and quite honestly…I don't want to. Read inside for more info, it's not as bad as it sounds.
1. GrimmIchi Used Edited

Title: Used  
Author: D.R. Ward\Hollowshirosaki413  
Date Finished: 8-12-12  
Warnings: Depression\Angst, Hurt\Comfort.  
POV: Ichigo Kurosaki

Summary: I'm used. I know this. But…I can't bring myself to care. I'm too far deep for any return, and quite honestly…I don't want to.  
Extra Thoughts: You'll like the ending. Yup. That's all I'm saying.

I don't know what I'm doing.

I don't know anything anymore, it seems. Light, it's dull to me. Darkness, it's more welcoming than ever. What is going on?

I know he's using me, I knew from the start. I knew it from the point of that sickening grin that had me putty into his hands. I knew from the point when he fucked me senseless, the point from where his eyes pinned me to the floor, and the point from when he labeled me as his toy.

I don't know, anymore.

I cry, sometimes, you know. I cry myself into that numbing sleep that I'm sure some of you have done; doesn't it make you feel better? It doesn't help me. I'm too far deep. My heart, my life, my body, it belongs to him now. I don't…I don't _own _it.

I don't want to, either.

When he ravishes me, takes advantage of me, and uses me, I can't help but feel a sense of _need. _He needs me for sex and sex only, but…It doesn't matter to me. I belong to him. He owns me – and I'm fine with that.

Or, at least…I thought I was.

XxX

(Three Years Later.)

My body couldn't take it anymore. My body, nor my mind, could take the pain, the hurt, the hate anymore from the man known as Grimmjow Jeagerjaques. It…I couldn't take it when he didn't look at me, when he doesn't even glance at me once, when he doesn't…Meet eye contact. It pulls at my heart. It makes me cry, when I'm alone, to think about it. Why?

So. There was only one option in my mind, one that could very well change my life once and for all. It may even determine the fact between life and death, I knew this. But…It has to be done.

I confronted him.

"Grimmjow?" I asked him. We just finished another round of sex, and he was getting ready to leave, and he wouldn't look at me, again. My fingers clenched into the sheets.

"What?" he asked gruffly. He didn't bother looking at me, like I was a parasite. Was I a parasite?

"I can't…I want to stop this." I said shakily, my voice coming out a lot softer than I hoped it would. My eyes were moist, but I refused to let any tears tumble over. Weakness, I remembered. Grimmjow didn't like weakness.

"Why?" The blue-haired man growled out, a lot angrier than imagined. I bit my lip, my eyes trained on the back of his head. His back was still turned to me.

"I-It's too hard to do this anymore, Grimmjow…" I murmured. When silence was given to me, I continued. "I know you don't love me, that I'm a thing to you, and for the longest time, I didn't care!" I began. "I really tried not to care, thought to myself that this was good enough…But, Grimmjow, my body and mind won't take it anymore." I grit my teeth. "You broke me. Feel happy, rejoice, and you can…find another person to fill my spot, Grimm. I've gotten past the point of liking you, and I fell in too deep; and now…"

"…Do you love me?" was the only reply I got. I licked my lips, shocked a bit, and confused that he didn't shut the door on me yet. I closed my eyes. His back was still turned to me, his face still unseen.

"…Yes." I whispered. "I do love you, Grimmjow, so please…Just, don't hurt me anymore…"

It happened to quickly for me to register.

He turned on me, and before I had the time to protect myself, his fist came flying across my cheek. An awakening pain engulfed my whole face, my body now sprawled on the bed, my face buried into the sheets. I stayed there, not daring to move.

"I…" Grimmjow said to me, for once, at loss of words. "No one can replace you…You can't leave me!" The blue-haired man yelled. "You can't abandon me!" he yelled again. He sounded broken. Ever so slowly, I pulled my body up into the sitting position again, and finally, I let my eyes rest on the sight of a crumbling Grimmjow.

His body, it looked weak. No matter how many muscles he sported, his body, it was shaking, like a fragile little doll, it looked weak. His face, it was contorted into something keen to anger, hate, sorrow, and utter…It…It was broken. I was at loss of words. That was good, because he continued.

"You can't break, dammit!" Grimmjow yelled at me as he collapsed onto his knees; his eyes, for what seemed like forever, connected with mine, a new emotion curling and taking ahold of his smoldering blue orbs. "No one…I don't want anyone to replace you, you…You fucker!" Grimmjow, the man I thought was a storm of cold ice, wept, his hands bleeding because his nails dug so far deep into his palm. He punched me again, but this time it was in the thigh, and it didn't hurt. He punched again, and again, and again, until it seemed he got tired.

I found myself cringing at the sight of him unraveling. I didn't expect it to go this far…And…He was using me…

Right?

"Goddammit, Kurosaki, you fucked everything up!" Grimmjow hissed as he placed his left hand on his mouth, trying to contain the sobs he was letting out. "You…I…You can't abandon me, like fuckin' everyone else!" the blue-haired man snarled out as he released his mouth, a now scary-looking look on his face. I couldn't bring myself to be scared, though. I couldn't. "You…You fucking love me, you do? Do you know what that really entitles?" Grimmjow bellowed again. He took a deep breath as I only stared. "No one…No one was supposed to love me…No one did. I'm a master of destruction…No one can love…A master of destruction…"

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words could reach the tip. I stared at him, in silence, wondering, wondering how lonely he felt…To not be loved. How much pain…Why was the pain so bearable to him?

I was trapped. I knew it. But was I being…used?

"Fuck you, Ichigo Kurosaki!" Grimmjow hissed as he began his pitiful punched fit to my legs again. It was more like pounding them, not meaning for actual hurt, but he didn't know how to hold back. I couldn't help but flinch a bit; he didn't notice.

"Grimmjow…" I murmur as I lift a shaking hand. The blue-haired man looked up to my eyes. My stomach clenched. My heart pounded. I bit my lip. My heart stopped. "I…Love You." I whispered to him as I placed a hand on his baby blue locks. His hair was as soft as ever, like a baby's, but it was one of the most beautiful manes have ever seen. I remember; it was the one thing that attracted me to him first when we met. That - and that damned smirk….Where was that damned smirk now? Why is it gone? How did he keep that smirk up, how did it stay…When he felt no love?

"You're not lonely anymore, Grimm. I love you, Grimm. I love you so much." I cooed to him as I pull him up onto the bed. It was awkward, but I cradled him into my arms as he cried. He cried so hard, and it may have been the only time he has ever cried, but he did. I couldn't bring myself to mind. He was there, and he was opening himself to me.

I don't think he's using me.

"Fuck…you." Grimmjow muttered into my shirt as he resulted into sniffling into my shirt. I smiled softly as I continued to stroke his hair in a soothing motion.

"Sorry, Grimm, I'm not cut out for that. That's your job." I couldn't help but jab. Grimmjow chuckled softly as he continued to sniff. "I'm not going to leave you, Grimmjow." I say once more as I kiss the top of his head. My cheek was throbbing, but I did my best to ignore it as we continued in silence.

"You can't. You can't leave me." He said.

"I'm not."

Grimmjow looked up as his hand feebly made its way to my damaged cheek. My eyes, not breaking contact with his own, bore into his orbs, digging for any loose emotions stocked up. My cheek was nullifying with pain now, and it felt better than before.

"Sorry." He murmured. I sat, once again, shocked as his apology. This time, a goofy smile spread across my face.

"It's okay, Grimm. I'm not mad." I lick my dry lips once again. Kissing him upon his forehead, I then press my own against his, another sign of comfort.

"Ice." He grumbled.

"It can wait." I said as I pushed him onto the bed.

"Mine."

That's how Grimmjow started the night.

(A year Later)

We plopped on bed after yet another round of mind-blowing sex. Immediately, I snuggled up to Grimmjow, knowing now that he wouldn't leave out that door. We were panting, both of us now sated for the night.

My eyes grew heavy with sleep.

Grimmjow tightened his grip on me as he was also about to fall asleep. This time he kissed my forehead, granted not as soft as it was supposed to be, but he was working on it.

"I…" Grimmjow spoke as he shut his eyelids. "I love you, Ichi…" He said as he finally drifted off. A grin engulfed my face.

I wasn't being used.


	2. GrimmIchi World So Cold Unedit

Song: world so cold, by three days grace.

this didnt win, no, in my poll, but i believe i am going to do a song-fic for just about every song, so...yeah. anyways, go check out that poll and vote some more, neh? it would help me update faster X3

_**XXX**_

**I never thought I'd feel this  
Guilty and I'm broken down inside  
Livin' with myself nothing but lies**

I closed my eyes, willing my tears to stop before I fell deep into a whirlwind of depression. I've been getting those lately, and there was only one reason as to why I've had lover, my life, my solitude, and my world, had fallen right in front of me, his life already faded from his eyes as he collapsed to his death. He died for me. He died because of me. Don't you think that it's amazing that a single bullet can take more than one's life away? not only my lover's, but whatever life i had also made up? It's true. And the only thing I have left to hold onto, the only thing that made me feel human anymore, was living with myself, the guilt welling up in my body until I could never feel another thing in my solitary life. I'm pitiful. But, just as everyone else but Grimmjow, I don't care. anymore, at least.

**I always thought I'd make it  
But never knew I'd let it get so bad  
Livin' with myself is all I have**

After he died, I thought I could still make something of myself. I thought I could deal, I thought i was stronger than I am, but as time went by, it dawned on me that I could never see him again. Feel his touch on my body. Taste the sweat n his lips as I kissed him. Heard his coo's of a lovers carass, nor smell his cologne after he took a well-deserved shower. He wasn't there anymore to comfort me.

I'd let the depression and anxiety comfort me. I'd let it embrace me. and look what happened. this...shell of a person I was. My other half died because of me.

I was so weak.

**I feel numb  
I can't come to life  
I feel like I'm frozen in time**

Too much anger towards myself, I knew, led to this. The world was just too...cruel, for what people say. I felt like the world was no longer revolving, like it was frozen in time, stuck because I screwed it up. I guess it was my alternate hell. I guess I was already too far gone to believe anything else that sputtered out of my lips, those dead lips that would never meet Grimmjow's again. His lips had been perfect. They were rough and chapped sometimes, and others smooth and relaxing. Most of the time I believed I could get lost in those alone, if I was not already.

But my world was already frozen without him. It was gone, falling, and finally wasting away until there was nothing left but crystal bone.

**Livin' in a world so cold, wasting away  
Livin' in a shell with no soul since you've gone away  
Livin' in a world so cold, counting the days  
Since you've gone away, you've gone away**

Why, Grimmjow, did you have to do that to me? Why, Grimmjow, did I _let _you do that to me? Did you just...have to die? It was somethign I've brooded from time to time in my life. I was living in this...portable body without a soul in it since you've gone somewhere. They have said this over and over, that your in a better place, but are you? Are you in a better place without me? Are you...happier?

I've been counting days, months, years, even decades since you made it up there. Every day your day comes around, your birthday, or even your death date, I find myself wanting to visit you. I find myself wishing for you, but even as tha happens, it would never happen, would it? the world wouldn't let that happen - living in this cold, cold world.

Currently, as i sat down on the swing, another cold breeze swept past me. I didn't shiver. I haven't for a while. Ever since that has happened to me, I find myself too lost in my mind to onder about the outside world anymore. I wish Icoult see you, Grimmjow. You always thought there was a world after you died, you believed ghosts were there. But Grimmjow, are you there? Did your wish come true, to be someone in the afterlife who mattered? A strong, independant man, who didn't bow down to any piece of shit there? Grimmjow, are you a king?

You were the king to me.

**Do you ever feel me?  
Do you ever look deep down inside  
Starin' at yourself, paralyzed?**

Have you finally reached Nirvanna, Grimmjow? I really hope you have. And even though I could never see you again, I wish you well.

Sometimes I wonder, can you see me up there? And if you can, what would you say to me? Would you be upset, or would you be amused, per say 'come on, Ichi. I know your better than this!' in your scruffy, demanding voice that could send shivers throughout my body. Well, what is it like, to be dead?

Do you feel good?

Do you feel angry?

do you feel...happy?

"Shit." I muttered to myself as it started to rain. After a few minutes, it started to pour. I still didn't shiver, because my skin was already accustomed to the cold, with only a white tee-shirt on in the middle of January. People call me flat-out stupid and emo when I do this, but I few it was accustoming to the cold world I live in now. I felt as if I was a part of it, melted gold into the sun. Maybe I was, only a pawn for the death of Grimmjow.

**I feel numb  
I can't come to life  
I feel like I'm frozen in time**

I've always felt numb. It was something I was used to now. Just like Grimmjow used to say, I adapted to something so easily it usually scared him.

As I kicked the mud away from my sinking foot, I think about all my friends who had abandoned me. Back when we were actually friends who would die for eachother, if it were like that now, they would cheer me up (or attempt to) and say I was being an idiot. But, as they know now, I couldn't come back to life anymore. No more than Grimmjow.

**Livin' in a world so cold, wasting away  
Livin' in a shell with no soul since you've gone away  
Livin' in a world so cold, counting the days  
Since you've gone away, you've gone away from me**

I stood. I wasn't going to take this shit anymore. There was only one way to maybe, jsut maybe, find out if Grimmjow was right. Maybe, just maybe, in this ever-so-bred-of-evil world, I could see Grimmjow again.

The destination was the haggity old bridge back where Grimmjow and I used to hang out.

Where I would fall.

**I'm too young to lose my soul  
I'm too young to feel this old  
So long, I'm left behind  
I feel like I'm losing my mind**

Fuck. Losing my life only when I was twenty-three. This was shit. But it was better than the state I was in, the state where I've already tasted too much of life. I've tasted cutting, beating, killing, arguing, rape, running away, and...being with Grimmjow. That was the only good thing that has happened in my life.

As I walked on, I could here raven's crowing in the distance. I flinched as tears started up again. Holding them back, I was used to this. It's not like you can just outright cry in the middle of class.

Leaves crunched under me. I then shivered. yeah. I've met too much of life. So many emotions bottled up in so little time...it wasn't like I didn't try to help myself. Theropy sessions, I tried to go to. But I couldn't ever find the will to talk. It was a depressing feeling - to not be able to talk to anyone anymore. I got used to it.

I walked on.

For once, I was sure about something in my life other than loving Grimmjow.

**Do you ever feel me?  
Do you ever look deep down inside  
Starin' at your life, paralyzed?**

If Grimmjow were only here now. If he could see what I was going to do now.

The bridge came into view, about a half a mile still away. I smirked. He would probably scream at me and tell me I was stupid again. He would tell me I was a complete idiot, and if I persued, he would eventually yank me back to our home in which he would lecture me for days on end. I chuckled, humor still far from reaching my voice as I continued. My legs buckled under me, but that was ignored completly.

Then I stopped to think something.

Would he even stop me now, or would he believe it was the best for me to get my life over with? If he were still alive, of course.

I shook my head. he always knew best. He wouldn't stop me, he would fall in with me.

I just knew that.

I continued to the bridge.

**Livin' in a world so cold, wasting away  
Livin' in a shell with no soul since you've gone away  
Livin' in a world so cold, counting the days  
Since you've gone away, you've gone away from me**

When I got there, I could already here the rushing water under my sholess foot. I smiled. Maybe I would meet Grimmjow, in the afterlife. That blue hair, that intoxicating smell, that wonderful, cocky, arrogant smirk, and that loving side that no one ever knew but me. Maybe he'd be back.

Pfft, like bloody hell. In this vile world, where peopl are depressed and anxious left and right, what good could be left in it? not much, I believe.

I stepped to the edge. Grimmjow flashed briefly through my mind, as stared down at the water. I was too high up to see much more than a black outline of me in the water.

"_You idiot..." _I heard somethign whisper in the wind. Smiling, I looked out at the sunset. That was Grimmjow's voice. And, even though I knew it was a hallucination, it stragnely calmed me. "_Ichi, why do ya gotta do this?" _the wind said to me again, as it blew harshly past me. I put one foot over the edge.

"I'm not doing it for you, Grimmjow, I'm doing this for me." I whispered, as a genuinly happy smile fell from my lips.

"_you..." _

I fell.

Deeper, deeper, and deeper down, I fell, until I felt the stinging pain of belly-flopping in the icy water, not even bothering to swim as the sunset fell into the lake. With another chuckle, i felt the breath fall out from my lips, until I became numb under water. Pleasently, I felt my heart-beat slowly come to a stop, as i finally let the blackness of the cold world engulf me also, bringing me down to rest in the solitude. Just like a bird who was stripped from it's feathers or wing, I was stripped from my lover because of my selfish acts.

And, in my own was, I was repenting.

And, finally, hanging on with the last bit of light of the world, I hoped, someday, I would be abe to see Grimmjow again.

And, just maybe, that stubborn bastard would forgive me for doing this.

Just maybe.

**I'm too young  
I'm too young...**

_**XXX**_

Hope you liked guys, and I hoped you cried over this Dx it was my goal, but i dont think even i qould cry over this.

IMPORTANT: yush, my computer did crash. why does this only happen to people who enjoy writing? DX...anyway, my updates will be cancelled for a while until i can recover the remainder of my fanfics. and dammit, i had a good start on assassins too. blame this fucking shitty computer DX

R&R PLEASE!


	3. GrimmIchi Whisper Unedit

**Catch me as I fall**

**Say you're here and it's all over now**

**Speaking to the atmosphere**

**No one's here and I fall into myself**

**This truth drives me**

**Into madness**

**I know I can stop the pain**

**If I will it all away**

I want him to keep me. I want him to help me survive, I want him to protect me from my inside emotions. The one's that haunt me in my dreams, the one's that make me scream as I wake up, and the one's that make my own mind swirl closer and closer into insanity as days continue to pass. I try, god know's I try, to will this...weakness away, but I just know, it won't ever happen. And when he gives me that cocky, arrogant smirk, i believe everything will be okay. I hoped, I hoped so _bad. _

**[Chorus:]**

**Don't turn away**

**(Don't give in to the pain)**

**Don't try to hide**

**(Though they're screaming your name)**

**Don't close your eyes**

**(God knows what lies behind them)**

**Don't turn out the light**

**(Never sleep never die)**

I'm scared, every day, that he will leave me, that he won't give me the time of the day and go off onto another person and love them for the rest of his life. I wouldn't stop him, never, because I love him. I always will. After what he's done for me...all the good, and sometimes bad things, I couldn't help but love him.

I never want him to leave my side. Maybe I'm pitiful this way, or maybe I'm a total...weak bastard, or maybe I don't even deserve protection. But you, Grimmjow, out of all people, should know the answer. No. I could never...own this much love, for it would end up breaking me slowly from the inside. And yet I let it happen. And, if he left me, I was sure to break. I wouldn't worry, though. I wouldn't live long after that, I wouldn't let myself have any more pain, for I would just...die there.

I'm weak. I know this. But still, Grimmjow, if you can hear me, hear me call out to you, please don't leave my side. Please don't leave me.

**I'm frightened by what I see**

**But somehow I know**

**That there's much more to come**

**Immobilized by my fear**

**And soon to be**

**Blinded by tears**

**I can stop the pain**

**If I will it all away**

I watch the sight before me. I watch it, stricken in fear, anger, resentment, and...heartbreak. I willed myself to believe Grimmjow would never...never do this to me, but I guess he found it amusing in the end. I watch, I watch, and I watch, until I couldn't watch anymore. Then, with all my might, I let out a terrified and agonizing scream. Tears evaded my eyes almost as quickly.

"HOW COULD YOU!" I scream. Two people, my own goddamn brother and Grimmjow, turn to me, obviously flushed from their activities. I flinch as their gazes fall on me as they lay, lay down, on OUR bed, in MY home. I twitch.

"i-ichi!" Hichigo, my brother, exclaimed. "I can explain!"

I let my gaze fall to the floor. Shaking my head quickly, I look back up, my fst's already at my sides as they look at me in worry. Fuck them. Fuck them all. "y-you..." my fingers twitch, before I turned my head, and ran out of the room. they didn't follow me. I was glad.

After what seemed like forever, I fell onto the ground, oblivious to where I was. It felt something like an alley, but I didn't mind it, it was cold.

I closed my eyes, the flashback of walking back in on Grimmjow and Hichigo replaying in my mind. Curling up, I let out a sharp, angry cry. No one could hear me, so I didn't care. Or so I thought.

"Well, well. What do we got 'ere?" a voice penetrated the dark silence. I flinched, but didn't look up as multiple footsteps came my way. I didn't dar move when they stopped. "Hm. You look mighty fine, mind if we take a taste?"

I curled up tighter. I was too weak, mostly emotionally, to fight back. Slowly, ever so slowly, I stood, and looked the man in the eye. I never saw him before. I didn't care. "Fuck me." I stated, as people behind the man shifted in complete shock.

"Huh. Grimmy told me ya were a feisty one, man, but the fuck? Pitiful. And yet...so delicious."

**[Chorus:]**

**Don't turn away**

**(Don't give in to the pain)**

**Don't try to hide**

**(Though they're screaming your name)**

**Don't close your eyes**

**(God knows what lies behind them)**

**Don't turn out the light**

**(Never sleep never die)**

I didn't cry for him to save me. I wouldn't, anymore. After they left me, from their...previous sex escapades, I was left in the alley. It was cold, dark, and raining. I sat there, completly un-clothed, staring out into no where. More footsteps came my way. I didn't look at him, her, it. It was a single person. It was running towards me. I didn't look up as the figure stopped, but I heard panting, as if it was running on and on, but still, I didn't bother looking up. It didn't matter if I was completly un-clothed.

"I-ichi?" looking away, I sneered as a recognized the voice.

Grimmjow.

**Fallen angels at my feet**

**Whispered voices at my ear**

**Death before my eyes**

**Lying next to me I fear**

**She beckons me**

**Shall I give in**

**Upon my end shall I begin**

**Forsaking all I've fallen for**

**I rise to meet the end**

"What do you want?" I say to him, not daring to look into his eyes as I feel a new kind of storm rain all over my face. My eyes, already blurry, became almost un-seeable.

"What happened?" he questioned, as if he was shaken. I snorted, obviously humored by the fact that he was so...ugh.

"Why do you care?" I shot back, standing up. Right after, I felt his fingers latch onto my flinching, spasming arm. I hissed, finally looking into his eyes. didn't look too deep, because I didn't want to find the emotions locked away in the window's of his soul.

"Look, I told you we could ex-"

"I don't WANT you to EXPLAIN!" I shout, tearing away the fingers from my arm. stumbling back in anger, I turn my head as I rant. "I don't fucking care what reason you have. excuse, same fuckin thing. You knew..." I let out a shake, as I looked into his eyes, depression and resentment surely in my eyes. "You guy's knew everything that has happened to me...and yet you do this? It's like tearing needles into me ALL OVER AGAIN! how could you do that to me, huh? HOW COULD YOU?" I rasp, my head completly spinned. The aftersmell of sex lingers on my body. "I hope you know, when I die, that the last one who fucked me was your _best friend. _I didn't recognize him at first, but now I know."

"Who?"

"Nnoitra. And everyone in his gang." I stood, with every last bit of dignity left in my broken, abused, torn, naked body, and I walked past him. He didn't move. "He was the one who fucked me last. Not you. and I will NEVER, EVER let you lay your dirtied hands on me EVER again. ESPECIALLY when you decide to fuck my brother."

I didn't stop. "I thought you loved me! I thought you would protect me from myself! But LOOK WHAT YOU DID!" I scream, as I turned back around to face his back. I saw him flinch. Good. He deserves it. "Y-you...I placed all my hope into you, I let you...I let you in so easily. And look what happens! THIS! YOU KNOW WHAT, GO BACK AND GO FUCK MY BROTHER! GO, GO YOU IGNORANT BITCH!" I turn, and ran away. Forever. The rain pelted deeper down, and my bare skin tingled in numbness.

_**~A YEAR LATER~ **_

Grimmjow looked at the news from his TV. He was embraced around millions of types of alcohol, but right now, he was immersed in Smirnoff.

"Today, a twenty-seven year old man was found at the stream of Kakura, just below the Koko river." _where Ichigo and I first met. _Grimmjow thought. His heart ached. "He seems to have commited suicide. However, there is a tape left at the scene. It is a bit disturbing, so tune out if you would not liketo hear."

"_Grimmjow."_ the tape started. Grimmjow sucked in a breath. It was Ichigo's voice. "_Whatever you may think, you didn't do this to me. But it still hurt. and no matter what, remember, Grimm, I still love you. Don't be upset...I forgive you both. My brother also. What I told you, Grimmjow, about not protecting me? It was a lie. You protected me better than anyone could. Remember, Grimmjow. I love you. I'll watch over you, for what it's worth. I hope you have a long and happy life with my brother, and possibly find another love. I love you." _

Te recording stopped. Grimmjow, choking on his own tears, found himself curling in a ball as depression engulfed him. He cried. Hard, then harder, then harder, until he couldn't even attempt to cry anymore. "Ichig, Ichi, Ichi..." he chanted. He didn't move. He couldn't.

Ever so slowly, after hours on end, Grimmjow stood.

Hichigo burst into the house. A man he hadn't seen in a year. "Did you - ?"

"Don't. Just...don't." Grimmjow said, more to himself than anyone. As if he were a mummy, he walked past Hichigo, who stood shocked.

"Where are you...?"

"The Bridge." Grimmjow stated montonously. He didn't look back, but he shut the door to his house, and blindly walked forward. He didn't stop, he kepts walking, over and over.

"_I thought you loved me!" _Ichigo's voice rang in his mind. _"You didnt do this to me." _He did. He did this to Ichigo. He...he killed his lover.

He didn't stop. Grimmjow didn't stop, of course, until he came to meet up with the same bridge Ichigo jumped off of. He flinched, but moved closer to the edge. He wanted to be with Ichigo again. And there was only one way.

"I did it." Grimmjow whimpered as he looked into the dark.

As he stood on the ledge, he shivered. It was cold. He didn't mind.

"Ichigo, I did love you. More than my being. I loved you, I loved you so, so much." Grimmjow started to chant as he closed his eyes. "I was never there to protect you, and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for...Hichigo, I swear, Ichi, I didn't know what I was doing. Nnoitra gave me a drug, from Szayel, I guess, and it was just wearing off when you came in. He gave us both the dose. I didn't...it isn't an excuse, but Ichigo, I'm so fucking sorry."

As the last of his tears slide down, Grimmjow jumped. Wind came. Then panic. Then drops of water. Then all of the water.

Grimmjow closed his eyes as he slowly drowned to the bottom of the lake.

"_Ichigo...I love you." _he thought then.

with a gurgle, he spoke into the water.

"I'm coming to save you."

**[Chorus x3]**

**Servatis a periculum [save us from danger].**

**Servatis a maleficum [save us from evil].**


	4. Living Hell Also Edited

I feel myself breaking. My body, my mind, my heart, everything's aching, and burning, and it _hurts. _It's so painful, when he leaves, when he walks out on me, it almost breaks me. Like a hammer jamming itself deep into my skull, it feels, and soon, my soul wouldn't be able to take much more. Why? Why did it feel like this? I promised myself I wouldn't fall for a man like him. It was impossible. But yet…How?

I couldn't fathom it.

But yet, it's so true it's sickening.

The way he moves, the way he walks, I hate it. The way he speaks, the way he acts, I hate it worse. But the thing I hate the most, out of all, would be when he walks out on me. It sickens me. It sickens me that I still come back to me. It sickens me that I collapse into his arms after a lustful night of sex, it sickens me when he smirks and kisses my forehead, and yes he has to go, it sickens me when he takes the initiative to walk out that door, over and over. He was a sex fiend; and he wasn't mine.

I hated it.

I hated the thought of him banging some other helpless woman or man other than me. I hated the thought of the pleasure given to the both of them. Did he like sex from others better than him? Was he bad? Was he not enough? Was it because he was poor?

It sickened me.

I hated it.

Who does he think he is? What does he think he is? He believes he's in control of me. And he's probably right. But why? Why did it have to be that way? Why did I have to love him? It was still impossible. Look, I'm repeating myself over and over. Why? Why did he make me this love struck, this angry about myself?

Damn him and his cocky, arrogant smirk.

Damn him and his unruly teal hair.

Damn him and his pearly white teeth.

Damn him and his electric blue eyes.

Damn Grimmjow Jeagerjaques to the pits of hell.

I hate him.

I swear.

Always, he would come to me, we would have sex, and then he would leave. We were nothing more than casual sex buddies, and I abhorred the fact of thinking myself as one, but I was. Friends with benefits - minus the friend's part. We never hang out other than in the bedroom, we never talk to each other as we pass in our college; quite frankly, no one even knew we messed around with each other other than his own friends who he brags to.

It's quite sad.

His friends commonly made fun of me. I had no friends, I was an awkward kid, I was a nothing. I still am, from what Grimmjow and his gang say. But who am I to deny it? They have friends, I don't. They have casual sex; I don't let anyone other than Grimmjow touch me. I should just start whoring myself out. Maybe I'll get more friends that way.

**Break.**

"Grimmjow!" Ichigo screamed out as he bucked his sweat-covered, tan, flawless skin upwards, shouting out his release with a strangled cry. Grimmjow grunted as he too poured his seed into me, which made me shiver at the always strange feeling presented to me. I lay on the bed, restless, already closing my eyes, not bothering to wonder if he was going to stay. He wasn't. It's not like I cared. I let my lids drop like lead weights. That blue-haired bastard always did that to me after sex.

When I didn't feel the crushing weight on me seize, I peeked open one eye. In shock, I noticed the blue-haired man was still there, watching me with something keen to a curious wonder. I gave him a strange, tired look as I closed my eyes.

I sighed. "What're you still doing here?" I commented softly, avoiding his face entirely.

Grimmjow grunted again. "Too tired to move." He grumbled out softly as his face rested on my toned chest. I let one eye open again in curiously, feeling an odd pang in my heart at the comment.

"You were never too tired before." I said rather bitterly, even harshly, if you think about it.

Grimmjow didn't reply for the longest time, and just when about I was accustomed to sleep, he spoke. "I just feel like it. So shut up." Grimmjow spoke out as he rolled off of me. I turned my body to face away from him, successfully hiding the blush on my face as I buried my head into the sheets provided to me. After a few seconds of silence, a large, toned arm wrapped around my waist, sending a shock wave throughout my body.

"Don't say anything, just fucking sleep." The blue-haired teenage spoke out crudely. I didn't bother replying.

With a stupid, silly grin on my face, I finally grew too tired to respond, and ended up passing out.

**Break.**

Within the next week he was still staying. Sometimes longer than others, but still, there he was. Each time he did, I ended up grinning and hiding my face, trying to keep that blue-haired man from seeing my utter delight. I loved it when he wrapped his arms around me, probably not meaning to be lovingly, but still, and when his breath became even with sleep against my ear, or sometimes neck. It was intoxicating.

I loved it.

I loved when his lips ghosted over my neck unconsciously as he slept, or when his arms tightened around me, or even when he shivered slightly. Everything he did next to me made me happy; sometimes aroused; and the feelings only were intoxicating. I even lost sleep, sometimes, but to hell if I gave a shit. Cuz' I didn't. I was thoroughly satisfied.

But then it all went down the drain.

It was when Grimmjow's friend, Nnoitra, decided to walk in. Now, usually, they were at Ichigo's home, but for some reason Grimmjow invited him over to his place. I should've known it was a bad idea to begin with, but my stupid happiness got in the way of a thing know as _thinking. _

Yeah.

You guessed right.

Remember when I told you that Grimmjow's friend were just pot-heads who had casual sex? Well, maybe not the pot-head part, but you know what I mean. Well, yeah. Anyway, that's all that Nnoitra thought, or would even consider, that we were. He would not accept anything else other than that.

"What the fuck?"

Nnoitra was there, like, bam! All of a sudden, at a random time, when Grimmjow was leisurely sleeping next to me, I looked up and saw the dark-haired man, surprised to see a line of fury burrowing themselves in his dark, beady eyes. My heart skipped a beat at that moment. I stared.

"N-Nnoitra?" I stuttered, shocked, at the man before me. I sat up in bed, my naked body being half revealed to the other man as the blankets tumbled near my waist. "What're you doing here?"

"Wrong question, bitch." Nnoitra sneered. "What the fuck're _you _doin' here, hm?" He snarled at me rudely. Nnoitra crept up towards the bed, dripping intimidation, as I shrank back in a bit of fear. Normally, I wouldn't think of doing something such as cowering, but it was…It was still Grimmjow's friend. I didn't want to hurt Grimmjow by hurting him.

"I-I-…Um, I-" I stuttered out as he leaned in towards me, a breath away from my face. I gulped out as my eyes widened in sheer horror.

"Get the fuck out of this bed _now." _Nnoitra hissed to me. "And don't wake him up."

I complied without a question.

I didn't bother trying to find clothes, for I was even scared to move. The man's intimidating gaze held me to the spot. I couldn't move. It was silent. A heartbeat was heard. Was that mine, or his? I couldn't tell. And quite frankly, I honestly didn't want to. Sucking in a breath, I looked over at the tall man now about four feet away, and clenched my fists. "W-What are you here for?" I asked him quietly. When his eyes narrowed, obviously mad, I flinched.

I didn't expect him to _hit _me.

I cried out, suddenly, half and shock, and the other half in pain, as I fell to the floor in a mess of skin. My eyes, shocked and upset, traveled up to the seething man above me.

"Did I say ya could speak ta me, slut?" Nnoitra hissed out quietly, careful not to wake the sleeping bluenette. I looked down, my mind clouded, as the tall being stood before me in utter control. I almost sneered at myself for being as weak as I was at the moment, but Grimmjow wouldn't want me to hit Nnoitra...So I wouldn't. I gulped out as I realized the situation.

I was about to be pulverized.

When the next hit came, I cried out as I sprawled out on the floor, my vision blurring as my head hit the wooden floor. I vaguely felt the blood running down my head, but I didn't look, I didn't even bother to move, as a whimper escaped my lips. The dark-haired asshole began to kick me in the ribs harshly, making me grunt out in pain over and over. When he struck me rather brutally, I whimpered pathetically, feeling the crushing pain of a rib breaking inside of me.

"You dirty, filthy, son of a bitch, ya think ya can jus' come in an' change Grimmjow, can ya?" He hissed out as he kicked harder, more rapidly, more harsh. I started crying out uncontrollably, my mind blanking out as he just kept coming and coming.

"Mmn…What?" I heard the voice of my deepest desire grumble out tiredly. As I try to glance over on the bed, I see Grimmjow, mildly awake, gripping for the air. "Ichi…Where are ya?" Mumbled out as he peeks an eye open. Nnoitra stops in mid-kick.

I feel his gaze lock with mine, not because I can see the difference between his eyes and face, but because I feel the burning intensity of a sudden shock and anger engulf us both. Nnoitra is staring like a deer caught in headlights at the bluenette.

"What. The. Fuck. Is goin' on here?" Grimmjow hisses through narrowed teeth, jumping up in bed. Me; being on the ground, with two tall, broad men hovering over me, made me very uncomfortable and scared.

"Nuthin', Grimm. I was jus' showin' this bitch his place." Nnoitra bluntly stated as I continued to whimper on the floor. Grimmjow's eyes narrowed considerably as he growled at the other, his body moving in mummy-like strides as he got up of the bed and strutted over to the dark haired man; naked.

"Care to run that by me again, Nnoitra?" Grimmjow snarled as he got up in the lanky man's face.

"I sai-"

Nnoitra didn't even get to finish before I heard an ear-splitting cry echo throughout the room. I assumed Grimmjow hit Nnoitra in some way, but I didn't even notice due to my eyes staying bloody and closed. Without opening them, I continued to listen in on the conversation. Moving to was too hard, so this was just about all I could do.

"I don't give a _fuck _about what ya said, Nnoitra. Back the _fuck _away from Ichigo before I rip you a new one." I heard another cry. Mentally, I smirked, glad to know that Nnoitra got what was coming to him.

I coughed a bit, blood spooling from my mouth in little bits. I could taste the coppery substance slide down and back up my throat.

After what seemed like forever, and another thirty cries later, the door slammed shut. A form hurried over to me and kneeled. I could feel the warmth of what I assumed was Grimmjow suddenly envelope me as I was pulled up into the air. "Shit, Ichi, hang on. Please, hang on." Grimmjow uttered out more to himself as I coughed up some more blood. The last thing I heard before my conscious was taken away from me made me want to stay awake.

"Ya can't leave me, ya promised."

**Break. Grimmjows POV.**

I couldn't think of anything else other than Ichigo at that moment. I couldn't think of my anger towards that motherfucker, Nnoitra, I couldn't think of our amazing sex last night, I couldn't think of my work, nothing, nothing ran throughout my mind but Ichigo.

Ya see, I didn't expect to become so attached to this orangette of mine. I didn't _want _to, quite frankly. Fuck no, it wasn't because I was scared…I think, but the fact that commitment was such a hard word for me. I didn't even know how to define it. So when this fiery orange-haired spit-fire walked into my life without a care, I had no idea how to think of it. He was a new thing, at once, for me, a fling that I was happy to bed.

But then that grew.

All of a sudden, we are starting to fuck more often, then almost every day, and then _every _day. I couldn't get enough of it. He was entirely intoxicating. I was like…Woah.

And then I noticed the looks he gave me as I picked up my stuff and left.

It hurt me, I'll admit that, to see that depressed look on his face, but he never addressed it. I didn't want him to. I was too…I don't know what the fuck it was, but I didn't want to talk about it with him. Our sex-only relationship was working for me before, so why change it now? I thought of this constantly, but I noticed, more and more, that I didn't like that look on the orangette's face. So, more often and more often, I found myself getting guilty.

Then I stayed the night with him.

He was trying to hide it, I know, but he just looked so…_happy _when I stayed. I felt guilty. A man like him doesn't need someone like me around, I could crush him into so many little pieces it wasn't even funny. No, not his body, because he could beat me in a fight, but…It was his should, his heart that I was worried about. Yeah, I'm on the sentimental shit right now. Don't judge, okay? I'm going through a lot of shit. I deserve to talk about this once in a while.

But he was happy, and I was greedy. I kept him around, and stayed over more often, and all of a sudden, words passed through my lips that I wanted him to come to my place. Shocked at my own straightforwardness and the ability to open up, he gladly complied.

It was the best sex I've ever had in my life.

And then…

And then….

I wake up to _that. _

Ichigo was on the floor, already battered, bruised, and bloody. I saw red. I saw black. I saw Nnoitra's face. Anger took hold of me. I beat the living shit out of him, and then kicked him out. I drove Ichigo to a hospital. He was unconsciousness. I could barely hear his breathing, and it made me worried.

So here I am now, in this god-forsaken white place, waiting for Ichigo to be cleared. I didn't expect to hear anything other than progress come from the doctor's lips.

"He is in a coma."

My heart stopped.

What?

No.

No.

No no no.

_No._

He wasn't. He couldn't be. I wouldn't allow it. He couldn't leave me like this.

"He may never wake up."

My own breathing became labored. Fuck. Fuck, no. this couldn't be happening.

No.

God, god, no.

I couldn't think of anything else. My mind was blown. My blood ran ice-cold. My brain stopped working. My legs, they fell from under me. I collapsed on the ground. There was nothing. I couldn't feel anything. Where was the doctor again? I couldn't tell. Where was Ichigo? I wanted to see him. I want to touch him, I want to fuck him, I want him to be back again. I couldn't…I _wouldn't _accept this. No, not like this.

"I'm sorry." The doctor said, as if he was already dead. I choked on my own spit. No. Ichigo was a fighter, he would surpass this. He would wake up, tomorrow, see, and walk home, and we would fuck, and for heaven's sake, I would _stay. _

But it didn't happen the next day.

Nor the next.

Nor that month.

Nor that year.

I was bad now. I felt like shit. Three years later, and Ichigo still hasn't woken up. I keep paying his hospital bills, keeping him in there, but they were getting impatient. They said he wouldn't wake up. He would. I wouldn't accept no for an answer.

Another two years passed.

I was skinny. I was drunk most of the time. The only time I sobered up was to pay the bills. My friends were gone. Good – I didn't need them.

The next year arrived.

I was sitting on my bed, Ichigo's bed, _our _bed.

And then I got that call.

I'd been waiting for years, _years, _to hear those words spoil out from the phone. "He is awake." Within ten minutes I was at the hospital. The doctors gave me both sympathic and happy looks due to the fact Ichigo was awake, and the fact I looked worse than shit.

I went into his room. "Grimm…jow?"

I haven't heard his voice in so long.

I broke down. Crying, I was, at his bedside, for hours on end, nothing but Ichigo's soothing cooing helping my sane side.

"Grimmjow…I'm confused. Why am I here?" Ichigo asks me. I sniffle and run a hand through my hair.

"Ichigo…How old are you?"

The orangette raised an eyebrow as if I were crazy. "21." He stated matter-of-factly. I leaned back and closed my eyes, preparing for an explanation.

"Ichigo, you're 28 now." I stated. I looked into his eyes as they widened comically, his now-long hair tumbling in front of his face. He noticed this, and ran his fingers through his hair. The only thing they kept persistent on was shaving his face, so that was clean as ever.

"W-wha-!" Ichigo cried out in panic. I shush him with a hug, running my fingers through his hair.

"Shut up and let me explain." I state ruggedly. The orangette kept silent. I took a deep breath. "Seven years ago, you were attacked by my friend, Nnoitra." I calmly state, not trying to hide my distain. Ichigo looked surprised, so I don't think he remembered that. "You were bad. Apparently, with a couple broken ribs, a shattered hip, and a severe concussion, your body couldn't handle the strain, so you fell into a coma." I summarize for him.

He stared at me like I grew another head.

"Oh…Oh, god, Grimm, I'm so sorry…" Ichigo surprisingly said. I stare at him, shocked as fuck, wondering why the hell he was apologizing to me.

"What?" I found myself asking.

"I…I promised I wouldn't leave you and I…and I…" Ichigo trailed off as he burst into tears. I give him a very disapproving look as I growl warningly at him. But, even though my logic said to be upset, I was still happy to know he remembered something from so long ago, yet so close to the beating. It showed he didn't need as much help besides physical and counseling.

"Ichigo, shut up." I say to him in something keen to annoyance. I didn't want to talk about this with Ichigo when had just awoken.

"Okay." Ichigo said as he continued to cry.

I fell asleep with him in my arms.

**Break.**

We put him into physical therapy first. For months on end, he couldn't gain the ability to use his legs, so he spent most of his time still at the hospital. I didn't mind. I helped him, sometimes, with the walking thing. I let him lean on me as he attempted to walk, I chuckled when he got frustrated with his legs, I frowned at how weak his punches were, and I was just…able to _be _with him.

I was so, fucking, happy.

He was able to walk the next year. I then put him in counseling and weight\agility training. I didn't know what happened in counseling – I wasn't allowed to – but I was the one who taught him how to fight and lift again. Within a few months, Ichigo's fighting techniques were back to normal, due to the fact his memory was coming back. His muscles, however, still weak, took a few years to regenerate. I didn't mind. I had forever with him.

Five years later, I lay in bed with Ichigo, much like before, after my first round of sex for twelve years. When he was in a coma, I refused to let anyone else touch me, and the other five years, he wasn't able to physical stuff like that.

But now, oh, now, it felt so good. To have my arms around him, protected, and his body warm and _alive. _

_I realized I wasn't scared anymore. _

"Ichigo?" I ask quietly, wondering if he was still awake.

"Hm?" The orangette asked as he swiveled over to look at me. He looked normal again. I grinned and pecked him on the lips.

"Y'know, I've been waiting twelve years to say this." I started off. "You fucking changed my life with a bat of your eye, and at first, I resented you for it, but now, I remember I was just scared. I was horrified. I was never good with the relationship shit, so it wasn't…I mean…I didn't know what to act, say, or do." I summarized. "I knew you felt used, but I didn't know how to get what I was feeling across."

I continued as I closed my eyes. "But you made me feel better. And it killed me, over and over, to see you depressed. So, I realized I liked you more than I wanted to. But I didn't want to stop, so I pursued." With a deep, subtle breath, I opened them back up and stared into the watering eyes of my Lover. "But you are everything to me, Ichigo, you are _everything. _And now that I have you back, I can finally say…"

As Ichigo broke down into tears, I kissed him, and muttered, softly, slowly, everything against my nature….

"That I love you."


	5. HichiIchi - Rain Edited

Rain.

What a fucking joke.

It was annoying, it was cold, and it was…It showed that his King, Ichigo Kurosaki, was upset. Usually, I would always be able to tell what the fuck was wrong with that stupid orange-haired idiot, but _no_, not this time. He just had to put a block on his thoughts, even if he may not know he's even doing it.

It royally pissed me off.

And it just wouldn't _stop. _It's already been a couple of months, and King had resorted to skipping out on school, not talking to his family, not answering his friend's worried calls…Nothing. It shocked me to see him in such a depressed state. And the fact that I didn't know what the hell was going on really didn't help my already short circuit. My patience was wearing thin when another call came, and then another, and another, then a few texts, and soon enough it withered down to nothing.

So, I decided to confront the bastard.

Within seconds of deciding that, I found myself materializing into my partner's room. Ichigo was sleeping in his bed, his soft breathing rolling off his lips in unconscious breaths, his stomach rising and falling in a slow, steady pace. I watched him for a couple of seconds, before glancing around the room, deciding not to disturb him. He looked sleep-deprived. The circles under his eyes spoke for him.

"Hmm..?" I questioned as I found myself staring at a rather new-looking notebook residing on his desk. With a raised eyebrow, I made my way over to it.

Quietly, of course.

"What's this…?" I mumble to myself as I shake the pen off the cover. Picking up the book, I opened the page, a large, scribbled word instructed on it. 'Journal', it read. The words were fairly neat. _Journal, ne? Ya mean the feeling's and shit people write? _I thought to myself. I honestly wanted to know what was up with King, so this would probably be one of the best resources.

October 13, 2012. That was yesterday.

** My body is feeling worse. Not physically, nope, but more…Like, my mind. You wanna know why, Journal? I think I'm in love. What a fucking girly statement. And that's not what is really making me upset and pissy at the moment; it's the fact that it is someone who could read every single thought in my mind if he bothered, if he tried, if he cared. My freaking hollow. What kind of sick joke is that? No, it's not that it's my hollow, or his albino skin, or his fucking sexy as hell eyes, no, definitely not, it was the fact that he has no idea…(Not that I want him to.) He doesn't like me in the least – If anything, he despises me. How bad is that? **

** This also means I'm gay, no? Well, who just happened to find that out…? Karin. She called me a freak of nature. Disgusting. I couldn't bring myself to blame her. But it hurt. Like a bitch. **

**Kurosaki Ichigo. **

I almost dropped the goddamned book. Two things were running through my mind. First; King loved me? And second; what fucking sister could say that to his face? Both thought's made my skin feel colder than usual, made my skin tingle, and made me virtually pissed off. Nah, it wasn't that King loved me, I was fucking thrilled about that, but the fact that I failed to notice was a whole knew motherfuckin' story.

That was the upsetting part.

I turned back to look at Ichigo. He was still sleeping soundly. With a sneer, I stalked over to his bed, deciding to wake him up one way or another to tell him no matter what, he wasn't disgusting. He wasn't vile. That I loved him too. I adored him.

He was my King, for fuck's sake.

I tiptoed myself around his body until I settled myself above him comfortably. His face was at a petulant cute state, but he was still sleeping, his trademark scowl still placed firmly on his face. Within his parted lips, I could only see darkness, but I didn't bother with that as I continued to look around his face. The orangette's eyelids were resting over his eyes, his eyebrows smoothed back on his face. I licked my lips with my cobalt blue tongue.

What a delicious sight.

Ever so slightly, I bent down, pausing for a second. I didn't want him to freak out. But then again, he loved me, so after the initial shock, he should be fine.

With a smirk, I placed my cold, recently licked lips onto his own parting ones, harshly kissing him to wake him up. After only a few seconds of moving my ivory skin against his own, I saw his eyelids flutter tiredly, before they opened to a full length. King only stared for a couple of seconds, before his eyes closed again, kissing back. I didn't expect that.

I pulled away.

"This dream feels weird…" Ichigo mumbled to himself. Ah. He thought he was dreaming. I smirked. I'm glad I plagued his dreams also.

"Yo, Kingy, this ain't a dream." I purred to him. He blinked, before his eyes widened comically. This was more so the reaction I expected. All of a sudden, his body jolted as he tried to get out from under me, but I held on to his form tightly, not daring to let him sneak out from below. With a snicker, I let my teeth drag along his trained chin, a tongue peeking out to leave a light trail of saliva against his blushing features.

"W-What do you want?" Ichigo muttered softly as he strained his neck more to the right. I noticed, while watching his face, that his eyes flickered over to his Journal, which was still opened where I left it. His eyes widened more as he started sputtering out excuses. I frowned. "Shut up." I silence him. "Look, King, now that I know why yer pissy and everythin', there's a few heads up. Don't you fuckin' _dare _start thinkin' of yerself as disgustin', cause yer not. Karin's a thirteen year old _kid. _What does she know?" I narrowed my eyes as him. He avoided eye-contact. "Look at me." I hissed. I didn't have to say it twice.

The orangette bit his lip, but didn't comment as he flickered his eyes all the way around my close face. My fingers, latched around his wrist, loosened, and finally let go, but he kept his hands placed up by his head. King didn't dare to move as I placed my hands on either side of his face, and a leg in-between his thighs.

"Second. Don't assume things ya don't know fer sure." I narrowed my eyes at his shocked look; he looked like a deer in front of headlights.

"…Why did you go through my stuff?" He asked, gradually annoyed. I raised an eyebrow.

"I don't like the rain, and I don't like yer attitude at times like this, so…" I smirked. "I came ta cheer yer sorry ass up." I said before I latched my lips onto his. He greedily kissed back, not bothering with the soft crap as he let out all of his emotions into that one kiss. I felt hands slide into my now shoulder-length hair as they pushed me farther down into the kiss, making my smirk around his delicious, warm lips.

I let a cobalt blue tongue peek out to meet the skin on the bottom of Ichigo's lip. He got the hint, and opened his mouth, letting my tongue slide in to meet his shy tongue.

We battled for what seemed like hours, until I took ahold of the kiss, making my dominant nature peak out to meet his Uke one. Ichigo groaned softly as I lifted a knee, rubbing the cap of my knee against his growing erection. I smirked as I pulled back from the tantalizing kiss.

King lay there, panting, staring up at me half-lidded as he moaned once more.

I licked my lips. "Fuck, yer such a sexy King, Ichi." I hiss as I attack his neck next. He instantly bucks up against me as he wraps his arms around my shoulders. I groan as our now full erections bump up against each other, his boxers already stained with pre-cum as I work wonders around his skin. His neck, I noticed, was the most unscathed thing in his body other than his face, the rest of it has a thin layer of scars marring his perfect, sun-kissed skin.

I growled as I bit down on his neck. So many scars from so many fights, big, small, adorned him. I frowned as I remember causing almost half of them.

Ichigo let out a very sexy yelp. I licked around the bite in apology, lapping up the little droplets of blood like they were my sin. Softly, I drug my black clad nails down his stomach, resting my other albino hand on his inner thigh. The orangette mumbled something untellable. I didn't ask him what it was as I dragged my teeth lower down to his collarbone, erupting another moan from his puffy pink lips. He was virtually driving me insane with the pleasured looks on his alighted face, making me feel like I would explode within seconds of his continuous moaning.

At that moment, I pulled away from him and looked into his lidded eyes. He stared back with a look of lust and confusion, his eyes blearily blinking as unshed tears traced his eyes. I smirked. "Mmn, King. What a sexy sight." I murmured as I trailed my right hand along his hip-bones, up to his bellybutton, around his well-sculpted abs, and finally onto his perk nipples. His eyes widened considerably as I pinched a numb between my long finger nails. "Makes me jus' wanna eatcha up…" I let a groan escape my lips when the orangette bucked up against me.

"Then eat me." Ichigo grumbled softly as he looked back at me in a sideways glance, his face still tilted sideways as he looked up at me. Smirking, I ran my finger around his nipple teasingly, carefully avoiding his pert nub. I licked my lips. "Just…Don't…Ah, tease…" Ichigo murmured between soft breaths. I cackled.

"Now what's tha fun in tha'?" I speak crudely as I take off my own haori, having it pour around me in a white mess. I threw that article of clothing somewhere around his room, not caring where it landed. Ichigo watched me with a mix of lust and petulance as he shyly glanced at my form which now began to stand. "Neh, Ichi. Ya wan' me?" I purred lustfully at him, hooking my thumbs into my whitened hakama.

Ichigo didn't say anything for a few seconds, before he shyly admitted. I knew what he was trying to say, but I didn't hear him. So, slowly, as if teasing him, I took a step and leaned over the bed, my face close enough to his to feel his breath on my own. "I didn't hear yah." I stated as I strummed my fingers on his chest. "Do. You. Want. Me?" I stated clearly. Ichigo gulped visibly.

"Y-Yes…" Ichigo mumbled, a beautiful blush adorning his face as he looked away. "I want you in me, Hichigo…" Ichigo bit down on his lip. "Please…" he stated finally as he looked back at me. His eyes were trained on my tongue as I licked my lips.

"Of course, My King." I state as I slide out of my hakama, crawling back on him like a predator ready to take his prey. I stopped as soon as I reached mid-stomach, decided to tease him a little more around his sensitive areas. Softly, I poked my tongue into his bellybutton, before I initiated my tongue to lick around the sensitive area. Ichigo hissed as he fisted my hair, pulling back to stare at me. I raised an eyebrow at his sudden aggressiveness.

"What?" I asked him. He narrowed his eyes further, before he harshly tugged me up, planting a sloppy, lustful kiss on my lips. We stared at each other as he dipped his tongue into my mouth, my eye probably shining with mirth, and his own clouded with hunger, yearning. _Fucking sexy as hell. _I thought privately as I pulled away from the kiss, a thin line of saliva still connecting us.

"Mmn…" Ichigo hummed softly as he stroked my hair softly. I fought back from leaning into his hand, and decided that I wanted to get on with it.

It looked like Ichigo had different plans, however.

"Sit back." Ichigo instructed as he pushed me back towards the end of the bed. I glanced at his eyes, which were alighted now with a need, intensified in his already fiery orbs. He spread my legs as soon as he flipped himself over, his mouth finding the skin inside of my thigh. I cocked my head at him, a smirk playing at my lips as he stared back up at me.

"Mn…Not sure which Ichigo I liked better." I cock my head further. "Think ya can get me off, King?" I murmur as I lick my lips sexually.

My King gave me a look. "I know so, Hichi. Just sit back and enjoy the ride, Hollow." He quietly resides. I didn't like being called a 'hollow', but as soon as I felt a tongue lap around my erection, every thought went out of my mind except one thing.

Holy. Fuck.

King stared up at me; our eyes locked together, his fiery orbs dancing like a raining mess. I followed his tongue around my erections for a couple of seconds. The orangette looks mildly shy on the subject, so I didn't push him at all to get on with it. He then rubbed my straining cock against his cheek, making me groan softly, unable to hold back my sudden burst of vocals.

The orangette only smirked softly from under me.

"What a tease…" I grumbled more to myself than him. He snickered, however.

With the gaining self-confidence the man was getting by the groans of my approval, he took the head of my erection into his warm, delicious cavern, his tongue dipping down into the slit as he stared upwards at me. I growled at the orangette as I wrapped my fingers around his hair, harshly telling him to take more. He did. I licked my lips as I felt him gag a bit, but didn't let up, only continued in forcing him down. He got the point and began to bob quickly, the erratic sucks sending shivers down my spine.

I lick my lips. My king was the epitome of perfection. Long, endless legs sprawled out under him, his sweet, tanned skin glistening with sweat as his body temperature reached its near limits. His toned chest was breathing rapidly as he sucked with half-lidded eyes that bore into my own wanderings ones, every once in a while teasing the underside of my erection. I moaned out softly as I felt his tongue dip into the slit, successfully catching a few drops of pre-cum.

I meowled and pulled him off of me. Suddenly overcome with the urge to fuck him in the wall, I threw him back down on the bed, wrapping my long, boney fingers around his wrists, above his head. A smirk appeared on my face. "Yer such a naughty king, aint'cha? Just beggin' ta be fucked…" I trailed as I ran my free hand down to his hipbone, my black nail leaving a light blood trail. Ichigo groaned out softly, his voice drifting to my ears like an unseen melody.

"Mmnh…" Ichigo groans out as he bucks upwards towards my member. I growl as our erections brush up against each other, the friction sending a shock of pleasure up my spine. "P-Please…Hichi…" He mumbled, his face turned away from me. I grinned as I lazily began to suck on his neck, teasing him.

"Please….Wha'?" I ask him, wanting to hear the words spill from his lips. His face heats up, and the only thing I could think was 'adorable.'

"Plemhh fucmmm mhh…" I raise an eyebrow.

"Wha'? Couldn't quite hear yah there, Ichi. What didja say?" I taunt him. He growls and faces me, all the blood that he owned seemingly taking refuge in his face. I smirked.

"Oh, god, Hichi, please, take me. Fuck me. _Please." _He ground out through the pleasure. I licked my lips but didn't move. He groaned once more in frustration. "Son of a bitch, please, fuck me with your dick, fill me, I _want _it. Come on, Hichi. _Pleasseeee." _ He finally begs out, his eyes screwed shut. I smirk devilishly.

That's what I wanted to hear.

Without further or due, I reached over him to the drawer where he kept his lube. I motioned for him to spread his legs for me, which he did, a blush firmly implanted along his face. I chuckle as I spread the substance along my fingers, the cold feeling making a few goose bumps arise. The reaction was positively delightful. Ichigo's eyes darkened with unseen lust as he groaned out, his face marred with embarrassment as I spread his legs farther. He moves his arms to where his fingers entwine in my snowy locks, pulling down harshly so he could steal a kiss. I chuckle softly against his lips. _God, what a fuckin' turn on it was when Ichi got all demandin' an' shit. _I found myself thinking.

"I wanna hear yah _scream, _Ichi." I growl out possessively. Without further or due, I circle around my lover's puckered hole with my index finger, my lips curling back up into a smirk. Ichigo stares back with a mix of lust, heat, desire, longing, yearning, and even envy. It made my chest pump with something, and after a second of thinking, I realize it was regret. How could I have let my king suffer like this and not even realize? He looked like he was about to break, but he wanted more, so much more, _so who was I to deny him? _

As I inserted the first finger, the first reaction Ichigo had was to buck into the long appendage. He groans as he closes his eyes, his face turning to the side in embarrassment. A long line of read began to stain his features, so I kiss his cheek soothingly, only proving to make him redder. This made Ichigo look positively cute.

"Hichi…" Ichigo begs, his eyes opening up half-way to meet mine. I smile softly as I press my lips against his; I let my soft side appear as I kiss him lovingly.

"Shh, just wait fer me, Ichi." I calmly insert the second finger. Ichigo closes his eyes once more as he gasps due to me beginning to stretch him.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck…" Ichigo grumbled over and over as he reached out to grasp my hair. Firm, his grip was, as he pulled be back down for a bruising kiss, his lips full of passion unlike any other. I figured that I must have been stupid not to see his struggles beforehand – to not see how badly he wanted me. Now that I look back on it, I realize, that _fuck _I was retarded. When he looked back at me after a fight? Oh, no, I failed to notice. When he patched me up after I was broken, oh, no, I fail to notice this too! I mean, the fuck is up with me? I didn't understand quite so myself.

And yet, here I am now, kissing this kid stupid with my fingers shoved up his ass. Quite ironic, if you think about it. You know, because I've always wanted to dominate over my king, but never truly break him? I think I've found a pretty good way to do such.

"Ichi…" I mumbled against his lips as I bite down on the bottom one. Ichigo groans and bucks up against my fingers, and at that moment I realize he was stretched enough. With a large smirk, I pull out, scooting back a bit to admire my masterpiece.

Ichigo was positively delectable.

His legs were spread as far as they could go; his hands now sprawled outwards to grip the sheets. Light brown eyes looked back at my own in complete and utter adoration also, his orbs glassy and tearful. I licked my lips as I take a once over at my king once more.

God-damn, this kid was goin to kill me.

"Fuck it, Ichi, yer so fuckin' hot…" I grumble more to myself than him as I lined myself up with Ichigo. He looked up at me once more, not letting go to any movement whatsoever, watching me like a worm to a bird. I grin as I lift my left hand to the man's scalp, pulling suddenly at the man's orange locks. Ichigo cry's out at the harsh jolt. He tilts his head sideways, but then never let's go of our eye-contact, if not making it more intense.

"Come on, Shi, please, _hurry." _Ichigo growls possessively. I see the real Ichigo poking out, and I can't help but grin at the excitement.

He was really something.

"Now, why should I do tha'?" I ask him, tilting my head to the side innocently in question. My throat goes dry ad Ichigo hisses my name once more in warning, but I don't back down, only heighten in mirth. Ichigo mumbled something. "Wha'? Couldn't quite hear yah, Ichi. Could ya say tha' again, maybe?"

"Fuck. You. Hichigo Shirosaki. Fuck me now, or I will personally bend you over myself, you son of a bitch." Ichigo hisses as he pulls away from my hand that was still in his hair. When he couldn't get free, he growls again, making me ponder letting him go.

"Now, Ichi, ya kno' I can't have tha', My King. So…"

Without further warning, I thrust harshly into him; not stopping until I rest firmly enclosed by him.

"Ah-!" Ichigo muffles his scream into a silent one, his eyes wide and alight with pain. I murmur soft words of encouragement as tears began to break away from his eyes, kissing him occasionally to try to take away the pain. Ichigo's pants became labored as he tried to relax to my large self.

"Shh, Ichi, it's alrigh'." I mumble into his right ear as I pull out slowly, thrusting back into him. He groans in both pain and pleasure, so I continued with the slow thrusts for a bit, hopefully not hurting him enough so he could still feel the pleasure. When he pants out, another groan falling from his lips, I gather all my stamina and began to pound the poor boy into the mattress.

The results were positively amazing.

I mean – god damn. This boy knew the meaning of sexually innocent, which, in my defense, is probably the worst weapon he can use against me. I mean, he was just so _cute_, yet so _ravished, _it was amazing. As I thrust into him, back and forth, faster, harder, his voice becomes more labored, more intense. I groan as I bit into Ichigo's tanned shoulder, his toned muscles popping and constricting with the sudden invasion. My thrusts don't slow down, but become more intensified, as pleasure suddenly engulfed my vision.

"AH!"

Ah-ha, there we go.

"F-fuck, H-Hichigo! Harder, please, _PLEASE!" _Ichigo screams as he follows my thrusts with his own, his body rocking against mine, making the bed shake and rattle with the strength of the fucking. I growl as my hands are suddenly all over his body; pulling, stroking, pressing, _anything. _Ichigo's lips traveled against my cheek as I move to bite down on his ear. With a harsh cry, Ichigo bucks against me, wanting desperately for any friction. I lick my lips and slow down a bit.

"F-Fuck…what are you doing?" Ichigo mumbles as he rocks against me.

I kiss him.

I kiss him stupid.

The sudden softness of the kiss had Ichigo floored, his body un-able to move. My own softness surprised me, but I didn't mind at the moment, as I used my own 'passion' to take it out on the orangette's lips. Ichigo kissed back, just as soft, his eyes locking with mine. There was a promise, a silent promise, which slid between our minds, and then, just then, everything became wild.

I picked my pace back up to faster and harder than before. Ichigo cried out my name as his fingers entwined in my hair.

"Touch m-me, please…" Ichigo gets out between thrusts. I look down at him and immediately wrap my fingers around his straining, weeping erection, beginning to pump at the same time as my thrusts. Within seconds Ichigo cried out my name, before he spilled himself all over my chest. I came seconds later.

To support myself, I catch my body with my arms, careful not to fall on him. Hesitantly, I roll to the side, panting. Not much later I had a ball of orange curl into my side, his body sprawled out around me.

"T-Thank you." Ichigo said as he snuggled into my sweating form.

"That ain't wha' ya should be sayin', Ichi." I purr out as I wrap my arms loosely around his tanned waist.

"Then what?" I look down at him – only to find him looking questionably looking up at me.

Why did he have to be so cute again? Fuck my life.

I smirk as I playfully gnaw at his ear. He blushes and hits my chest, albeit weak, due to the intense fucking we just experienced. "I love ya, My King. And I expect no more rain, ne?" I give him a look of disapproval and disgust, just to show that I really hated that stupid cold substance that I could never get away from.

"I-I love you too, Shi." He commented so softly I barely heard him. "And I promise." With a grin of satisfaction, I finally let sleep engulf us both, not worried at all about the days to come.


	6. A Fairytale Ending

Title: Fairytale Ending

Author: D.R. Ward

Date: 4-29-13

Age: 13

Summary: Ichigo Kurosaki was once a popular kid, along with Grimmjow. They were enemies. But when the school found out he preferred men, well, it was safe to say he was rejected. And then Grimmjow got close to him. And then shit went down. And then this happened. And then that. And that let to other things….And this is where they ended up. ONE-SHOT. You'll like the ending.

Fairytale Ending

_Ichigo Kurosaki_ _POV_

~oOo~

He was my best friend.

But I wish he was not.

He was my secret crush.

But I wish he was not.

He was my _only_ friend.

But I wish he was not.

Because I have to watch every single breathless day of my pitiful damned life when Grimmjow Jeagerjaques was being called out by god knows who from god knows where. I have to watch when he busts his knuckles while busting other people's faces, or, on occasion, his own being treated in the exact same way. I had to sit there and patch him up and cry like a motherfucking baby when he gives me the look that says 'it's not your fault', when I know for damn sure it is. I had to live with myself when I realize that I am taking his life away from him – because I'm greedy and all I want is someone to hold on to. I _especially _had to live with the disgusted comments being thrown out in Grimm's directions because people are so annoying and self-preserved that they don't give a cow's burnt fucking tail about anything other than themselves.

"_You actually like hanging out with that faggot?"_

"_What the hell are you thinking?"_

"_He's a vile fucking creature! Stay the fuck away from him, you might catch that disease of his!" _

"_Gay? You're hanging out with a queer?! Son, have you lost your mind?"_

"_Get the fuck out of my house." _

I want to bury myself deep, deep down in the ground every single day of my life, every single class, every single minute, second, millisecond, breath, or even cry. However I am not that selfless, therefore I want to keep him by my side as long as I can without either of the two of us breaking. I knew the bonds were fraying and the edges were getting dusty between the two of us – and oh _lord _did I know that I would have to give him up sometime in the near future for both his and my own safety, but I just _knew _I didn't want to. It would tear me apart. Though it was not for me, it was for him.

Because no matter how twisted or fucked up you may call me, I loved the man known as Grimmjow Jeagerjaques.

He used to hate me. I used to hate him. We were both popular. We were both into sports. We were both smart. Athletic. Cool. You take your pick – I really don't care what you want to call us. But we hated each other's guts to the point of complete and utter oblivion; we wanted to smash the others face in twenty feet into the concrete and drink the blood up out of sheer _ecstasy. _However I made the first mistake. The first _big _mistake. Of course I didn't see it coming and expected all of my friends to be accepting of the path of sexuality I have decided to follow – but they weren't. They weren't at _all._

I still remember it like an imprisoned memory that was never to be let free.

"_Get the fuck out of here, Kurosaki. We don't know you anymore."_

"_God-fucking-shit, we were friends with a homo!"_

"_Who the hell do ya think ya are, ya piece of shit? Get out of our sight!"_

"_I can't believe I liked a gay man. I can't believe it…That's disgusting….I….Touched him…."_

I was abandoned. I was abandoned hard. It hit me like a shit ton of bricks a million times over and over and over until I had enough of the constant pain, therefore leading to my thoughts breaking through my mind – as well as through my eyes. Tears flowed freely down my fragile frame and I realized, just then, how weak I was. How weak I had always been compared to the world – it was disgusting. I was disgusting. I remember, clear as day, how the next morning as school when everyone, and I mean _everyone,_ ignored me, not even glancing by as I had passed. But then Grimmjow popped up – there he was! In the midst of everything, he upright said the thing that had changed my life forever.

"Wha' the fuck is up with everyone, Kurosaki? They all act like ya got some fuckin' dis –…" He was cut off.

Rukia, one of my friends from back when I was still 'straight', snarled. "He has a disease, Grimmjow! That fucker's gay! A fag! A whore! He's been playing us the whole time!"

Oh god, I remember his face. It was almost laughable given the circumstances. And there I recall standing, my head bowed down, cheeks flaring and body stiff as a fucking pole. But, as I thought Grimmjow would retort something like 'Holy shit, really? I was fuckin' wit' a goddamned fag!?' there was only one thing that passed his perfectly shaped lips.

"So?"

My head had shot up and my eyes had bulged into impossible measures as I realize what the bluenette had just said. People all around him had gasped and shrank back away from his nonchalant figure – but he either didn't notice or didn't care. I thought he was fucking retarded right then and there. I really did.

"A-Are you insane? T-That's disgusting!" Orihime, possibly one of the sweetest girls I knew before I realize just how prejudice they were, stuttered.

A snort passed the blue-haired man's lips as he gave her a glare. "And as I recall, yer sorry ass has been chasin' after his dick the past three god-damned years – and I almost betcha he's been gay fer all the time. He's the same fuckin' Kurosaki, dumbass."

I even remember the chills that fell down my spine in endless racks of shock as his statement. I recollect that my legs had moved faster than my logic, than my arms, than my heart – than everything that I owned. And then, then, at that very moment….I ran away from school. I didn't come back the next week. Or the week after. But the third week, I did, and Grimmjow was standing at the classroom doors giving me the scariest fucking look I have ever seen in my whole goddamned lives. If it wasn't me receiving that glare, others would have pissed their pants ten times over just to relieve their stress.

"Take a fuckin' walk with me, Kurosaki."

And after that walk, we had become frienemies. Then acquaintances. Then friends. Then close friends. Then best friends. Then somewhere along that twisted form of logic I had developed a strange crush for the man. I guess it was originally his hair that drew me to him, but then again, everything about Grimm was just too…majestic for words. His electric blue eyes, perfectly shaped, plump, rounded lips, angular cheekbones and protruding collarbone….He was just delectable. Alas, that's not something I plan on telling him anytime soon.

Or, ever was more like it.

You see, I made up my mind long ago. I would eventually get over him and move far, far away, hopefully forgetting about him and starting my life new in a place where he would never find me. If he could – and he would – find me and chase me down, I would only be causing him more trouble that I had once thought. I couldn't do that to him. I wouldn't take that life away from him – like the one that was torn from me long, long ago. Even if he was upset at first, Grimmjow would soon get over it and regain his popularity, go out with the hottest chick in school and continue on without settling down for the time being and I, and I….

What would I do?

I wasn't sure. However I couldn't worry about myself like that, it was just too vain for me to think of myself in such a way.

And I remember, I recall, I reminisce, I _bask _in what happened with a sort of bitter happiness when I tried to leave him. Of course I wouldn't confront Grimmjow head-on, because he would try and talk me out of it, or, if necessary, take force as a desperate measure against me leaving. So instead I went to him in the dead of night when he was _supposed _to be sleeping so I could maybe, just _maybe _steal a kiss and say goodbye one last time, before I hit the road. Though Grimmjow seemed to have other plans.

_2:45 A.M _

_I stared at the figure on the bed with that of sorrow. My lifeless orange eyes stared at the form under the poor excuse of a bed that he was able to afford after being kicked out. I flinched. I knew it was me who caused him to leave his family, even though he had claimed that he was having family troubles long before me. Sure, I believed he was having troubles, but I was the one alone who caused him to be, for the lack of a better term, kicked out. And the worst part was – it was my entire fault. All of it. He was working three jobs because of me. He was trying to make the best of himself in hard times because of me. No teenager should have to do that – no teenager should have to work that much just so he could live._

_I sat down at the edge of the bed as my heart leapt one-hundred times a second. The room was dark and silent, an eerie shadow from the moonlight casting a different set of shadows in so many other places. I fought off a shiver as the wind began to pick up through the bars that were to be considered Grimmjow's window. It was like a jail cell in here. _

_A twitching smile found its way on to my face as I pet the supposedly sleeping blue-haired man's sleek locks, loving the way the strands just passed through my fingers in a thin line, not snagging on anything whatsoever. As a lone tear fell down from my tear-duct to my slightly pink cheeks, a hum escaped my lips. _

"_Grimm…." I mutter softly as I bring down the covers that rested over my best friends angelic face. All the aging lines that Grimmjow had begun to get smoothed out and now all that was left was a teenager's face – young and sparky. I felt like bawling right then and there. "G-Grimmjow…." I murmur again as another tear slides down. I wipe my knuckles around his slightly skinner cheekbones, wondering if I was the one who caused his lack of weight. I probably was. _

_As I took a deep breath and stifled my cries, all that was left was a soundless sob. The still-silent room became a good three or four degrees colder. _

"_G-God, Grimm…I'm so sorry…." I apologize. "So sorry…." I whimper helplessly as I stand from the bed. "Goodbye, Grimm…." No reply was heard. I sighed. Did I really expect one? Really? So….So this was it. Really – it was all that was left of me, and I was now leaving it. I had to. It was the only way for both of us to live. _

_But I found that as I turned and tried to head for the front door that a hand held me captive. Shocked and a little scared, I whip back around to see a fierce pair of cobalt blue eyes glittering in the darkest of the room. Grimmjow stared and me and I stared back, and I realize that right then and there was the exact moment where I was caught._

_Shit. _

"_G-G-Grimmjow?!" I stutter, albeit loudly and feminine like. _

_Grimmjow didn't respond as he pulled my wrist in his direction, sending me flying on top of him over the covers of his bed. I ended up straddling him as I try to regain my balance, and the blue-haired man let me do so, but kept it limited. I was still caught in his grasp. "Where are ya goin'?" Grimmjow spoke gruffly. You could tell he just got up._

"_I-I-I…." I stuttered softly in that of horror. "I…." I try to breathe right. I tried so hard. Really, I did. But I was losing air quickly. "I have to go."_

"_Where? Why?" Grimmjow growled as he tightened his grip on my wrists. _

"_You know why!" I don't know how, but I suddenly felt so angry that I could burst. "Look at yourself!" I snarl and rip my wrist away from him, instead placing both my hands on either side of his still laying form. I made sure to get close up to his face. "Your skinny! Your cheeks are coming out of your skin!" I glance around. "This home is nothing! From what you used to live in…." I whimpered and whipped my face back to look at him. "I-I know you mean well by me, but you can't….You can't do this to yourself….I'm not worth it." My lips began to twitch and I found myself looking away from a pair of bright blue orbs staring in my direction._

"_Ichigo, tell me somethin'." Grimmjow's sleepy voice penetrated the silence, sending a wave of erratic jolts down my very veins. I glance towards the window from which I came in._

_Another tear fell down my face, but I didn't move to wipe it away. When Grimmjow knew I wouldn't, he lifted the hand that wasn't holding me in place and ran his own knuckles across my cheek, sending the bout of salt to either fall or soak in his tanned skin. I couldn't help it – I nuzzled softly into his strong, warm hands. He didn't seem to mind whatsoever. He let me do as I pleased with his hand, occasionally opening it up to palm my cheek, before going back to brushing it again. I also noted that his knuckles were protruding from his hands. I flinched._

"_Yes?" I'm hesitant to reply, but I know I have to._

_Before replying Grimmjow situated himself so his back was pressed against the headboard. I was still forced on his lap, but when it came down to it, I knew I didn't mind as much as I should have. Then he replied. "Do ya really think tha' I give two shits wha' I do or wha' I look like er how I live?" He replied with his thick German\Japanese accent. I suppressed a shiver. "I wouldn't be doin' this, Ichi, if I didn't think ya were worth it." He murmured as his hand began to trace miscellaneous lines around my clothed chest. I bite my lip._

_What was he doing?_

"_I…I…" I try to come up with a coherent thought, but I realize that had become futile and I was now a victim to his magical hands. "Grimm…" I murmur softly as I clench my fingers. If I didn't go now, I would stay here forever. I closed my eyes. It was for the best, I kept telling myself, it was for the best. Wasn't it? "Grimm, I really have to go." I look down at his hands as they paused. _

_The cold air turned even colder as Grimmjow's brows furrowed angrily. He snarled. His grip tightened. His eyes glowed. "Yer not goin' anywhere, Ichi." He hissed. Somehow, I believed him._

"_But, Grimm –…" I tried to argue, but I was found to be cut off._

"_Shut the fuck up, Ichi. Ya can't leave me after all this, ya can't, ya fucker. I will hunt ya down no matter how far away ya think ya can get away from me, and I will drag you back here and keep you here forever even if ya wish not. We clear?" _

_Somehow, I believed him even more. "Crystal." I muttered. As my hips were released, I found that I lunged into Grimmjow's embrace, which was strangely warm considering the temperature. Grimmjow kissed my forehead. And then I knew, I just knew, that everything was going to be alright. _

And after that I was with him all day, every day. I followed him like a puppy to and from all of his jobs, either sitting at a booth or watching him do manual labor while I was too young to do so. That – and he probably wouldn't let me work anyway. He still didn't know that I loved him though. I wonder how he would react. I'm sure he wouldn't be grossed – I'm positive – but he may become more distant and I would eventually find myself back at the beginning, _all _alone.

Sometimes I would cry myself to sleep next to him, thinking about how horrible our lives were, thinking about how stupid people were, thinking about how much they hurt innocent hearts and minds and just plainly….Cast us aside. We had dropped out of school because of….Because of them. And now, look at us, because of them. Them. Only them. But then it was everyone. Against us; they were all against us. It was lonely. Sometimes I wouldn't cry myself to sleep, but I would bawl and bawl and bawl for hours before I was finally too tired to cry anymore because I knew Grimmjow wouldn't reply to my feelings – because things like that only happened in fairytales. There would be no happy ending to this.

I hadn't seen mine nor Grimmjow's family in a total of six years. What a hexed number. Grimmjow had gotten that number tattooed on his back when he first met me and bullied me; when he was rich and prestigious and all of that shit. He claimed he got it to remember what a 'number' he did on me every time we fought.

Now the times have changed and Grimmjow regrets the tattoo. I still love it because….Because he cared enough to get it. Even if he hated me – I knew he knew I was still _there, _still _alive. _

I wondered if Grimmjow missed his parents. I personally didn't miss my father, but I did my sisters and my mother. My sisters never cared that I was gay and my mother….My mother, well, she was everything to me. And when she had passed….I don't even think I was gay yet. But I knew for sure that she would still accept me no matter what I was or what I liked.

More time had passed and Grimmjow was getting even skinnier. I stared at him in complete anger towards myself. I wanted to make it all better, I wanted to make him happy again, healthy….At least do _something. _

And do something I did.

There are plenty of people out there. Plenty of people who work behind the scenes or hide their preferences from the world because it would damage their reputation, plenty of people who hid behind masks of their true self to keep up a good profile. And I had found one of them.

Rukia's brother.

Byakuya Kuchiki was a rich man. He was a closet homosexual, as rumors had been going around – but oddly, not many cared. When I caught whiff of this at one of Grimmjow's jobs….I knew what I was going to do before I did it.

Grimmjow had no idea at first.

Every night, around nine o'clock, I would disappear. I would come back around ten thirty, tired, ragged, and dirty, but I got used to it quickly. Gradually the pay increased for….For my _services, _and I was able to get food to set on the table while Grimmjow paid the bills. And Byakuya wasn't a bad man….He was just cold. But he knew my situation. He kind of understood it. He even helped me. Sometimes chastised his sister, even, while we were in bed….But it wasn't what I wanted. But I knew I had to do it. But I didn't want to. But I knew I had to.

Grimmjow got suspicious after a while.

He started giving me calculating looks, which I ignored in the beginning. Instead I hummed and sat at the table with, granted, cheap food, but it was at least _food. _

And then he questioned me.

"_Where the fuck are ya getting' money?" Grimmjow questioned as he was in the middle of taking a tentative bite to his cold food. I glanced away in shame. I hope the dim lighting hid my blush._

"_Uh, numerous little jobs, y'know, just little things…." I twiddled my thumbs as I stare at my empty plate. I ate that fast. _

"_Like wha'?" Grimm leaned back and gave me a calculating stare once more. I watched as his slightly less-muscled arms crossed around his tiny but muscled chest, wrinkling his dirty shirt in so many different directions I was unable to count. I gulped. _

"_Uh, y'know….Stuff…." He was going to make me say it, I knew he was. I knew it. I felt like crying again. What if he would kick me out? _

"_Tell me, Ichigo Kurosaki, or I swear to god I'll make sure I find out the embarrassin' way." Panic filled my brain as my head whips up to stare at him with that of horror. The mere image of him walking in on them….On….why they were doing….No….That couldn't happen. "And don't ya fuckin' dare lie." The demanding tone made me flinch. I whimpered. _

_My fists clenched on the table. _

"_I…." I closed my eyes. Deep breath, Kurosaki, you are alright. Yeah, right._

"_Go on." Grimmjow was getting impatient. _

"_Grimm….P-Please don't be mad." I whimper as I stare helplessly at the empty broken plate. After a few seconds Grimmjow grunted – and I knew that was the closest I would get to consolation. At that moment I closed my eyes and let the wetness drip from my eyes once again, feeling the salt drag all the way from my tear duct down my pale, boney cheek, and down to splatter on the wooden table. "Do you remember Byakuya, Rukia's brother?" I asked him, shaking a bit. _

"_Yeah." I wouldn't meet his eyes._

"_There was that rumor….Going around at your work….T-That he preferred me…men…" I stutter. _

_Silence was the only thing I was received with. I began crying harder. "We needed money, Grimm. We're going to die, and he was kind, and I – and we – he paid me to do….it….and it worked, Grimm! We have food! We have something we can actually –…."_

_I was cut off. "Ya take one more goddamned step toward him and I will personally kill him. And don't you fuckin' dare think I won't, Kurosaki, because I will." I flinched. My surname was used. Grimmjow was upset. Really upset. _

"_I-I'm sorry…." Was the only thing I could rebuttal. _

"_Yeah, I kno' ya are." Grimmjow huffed. I could feel his gaze wash over me. "Come here." I could only obey. Grimmjow pat his lap. I sat down. I wouldn't meet his eyes. I couldn't. "Ichigo, I'm goin' ta tell ya somethin' very, very fuckin' serious an' if yer mad as me I completely understand." I had a sharp intake of breath. At his warning tone my gaze shoots up to lock against his. Worry filled my veins and I twitched. What was it…?_

"_I-I won't, Grimm. I won't." _

_Grimmjow nodded. I felt his arms, this time leisurely, wrap around my waist. He only did that when he wanted to comfort me. "I wan' ya ta kno', Ichi, that I love ya. I love ya more than fuckin' life itself. I love ya more than I love fuckin' sarcasm; I love ya more than anythin'. Ya, Ichi, are mine. And him; I don't care if he pays ya or some shit, I'm not lettin' ya go back ta 'im, yeah?" _

_I felt like I was going to cry. _

"_G-Grimm…." I whimper again. His eyes became alarmed at once and he was, I think, a little bit hurt to hear no reply. So I continued. "G-Grimm, I-I…." When I started to cry, I had to force the words out of my mouth, or they wouldn't come. "Grimm, I love you so much….I love you, I love you, I love you…." _

_And that night, he bedded me. _

After that Grimmjow agreed to at least let me go back to Byakuya's to thank him, of course, under his supervision, and Byakuya, for once, held a slight smile on his lips. "It's the least I could do. And I do apologize for using you for….Different needs….I just couldn't find what I was looking for."

And after that, Byakuya insisted on repaying for his insecurities and sent us a check every month for our supplies. He was a fast friend and even Grimmjow warmed up to him after a while. He was our outside friend. He was quite possibly the man that brought me and Grimm together. He was a truly good guy.

We managed to buy a cheap apartment, and a used car. We only used it on emergencies. We went to a different school and hid our….Preferences with each other just so we could finish school….And in the end, we both got respectful jobs – me as a writer, and Grimmjow as, quite ironically, an editor. We weren't big yet, we weren't rich, but we were getting by.

I guess it was a fairytale ending after all.


	7. Adventure MEME

MEME! Pick some of your favorite anime characters from a number of 1 to 12, 1 being the best.

1. Grimmjow Jeagerjaques (Bleach)  
2. Hichigo (Ogichi) Shirosaki (Bleach)  
3. Ichigo Kurosaki (Bleach)  
4. Asch (Tales of the Abyss)  
5. Tatsumi Oga (Beelzebub)  
6. Amu Hinamori (Shugo Chara)  
7. Hilda (Beelzebub)  
8. Ritsu Onodera (Sekai Ichii Hatsukoi)  
9. Kuroko Tetsuya (Kuroko No Basuke)  
10. Sebastian (Kuroshitsuji - Black Butler)  
11. Misaki (Junjou Romantica)  
12. Aoyagi Ritsuka (Loveless)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Your characters are lost in a South American Rainforest. They have a jeep, a small crate of food and water, and a knife.**

**1. [ 8 ] is elected by the group to drive the jeep. Why were they picked? Are they any good?**

He is one of the most responsible. He will not drive you over the edge just to see how fast you would go down, and he has enough skills to be a confident driver - not without cracked a few jokes, first.

**2. The terrain was too ragged for [ 8 ], and after about five miles, they crash. [ 5 ] is injured and [ 9 ] is knocked unconscious. What happens?**

Hilda [ 7 ] swoops in to the rescue! She has amazing skills of healing and will do what's best to heal the Demon Lord's father! And she will heal Kuroko, who is silent, but probably not as well. (If you watch Beelzebub, you'll get it. I highly prefer you do xD)

**3. [ 2 ] turns out to be a skilled healer. Do they mend [ 5 ]'s injury or let them suffer?**

Oh, Hichigo. Oga and him would never, ever get along. So no, he has a stick up his ass and would most likely argue his ass off while Oga, number five, was being healed by Hilda.

**4. [ 9 ] wakes up. The group decides to continue on foot. They take their supplies with them and share the load equally. [ 3 ] is given the knife. Then [7] gets separated from the rest. How do they, and the others, react?**

Hilda, number seven, is the most skilled healer and woman fighter. She could heal most wounds at any time. Of course, she is one of the few they did not want to lose the most. The others are freaked, but thank god, [ 3 ], Ichigo Kurosaki, is also skilled with the outdoors due to his father's randomness of dumping in the middle of nowhere to learn survival skills. I guess that old man does have a reason for being around! Ichigo calms all of them down and they continue on their journey, assuring them he's alive. He, on the other hand, does not think so.

**5. [ 7 ] is still lost, when the others come across a jaguar! It attacks [ 12 ]! [ 3 ] still has the knife. Are they willing to use it to help save [ 12 ]? What happens?**

Unfortunately, Ichigo tries his best, being extremely skilled in the fighting\defending category, but when he see's the animal go after his lover, Hichigo, he finds that he will risk the weakest links body [ 12 ] to save the man. Luckily, Grimmjow Jeagerjaques [ 1 ], is highly trained with big cats like jaguars -being a big ol'cat himself, a Panther, telepathically wards the jaguar off. [ 12 ] is already mauled off the charts.

**6. Whatever occurs,the jaguar leaves. The group finds its way to the ancient ruin of an Incan temple. [ 10 ] and [ 11 ] climb up the endless steps to go inside. It's very dark. What happens between the two?**

Misaki is naturally an eccentric teen, but really, really, really shy at times. He is silent most of the way, however then strikes up a conversation about everything being 'wack' based on whats going on, and Sebastian and him hit if off. He eventually develops a crush for the calm individual who is actually a butler. Luckily, the feeling is mutual.

**7. While the rest are waiting, [ 6 ] snaps. They steal the knife from [ 3 ] and kill [ 8 ]! What happens next?**

Amu is known for being a hothead who covers her true feelings more often than not. She is just a confused schoolgirl who went to a normal school and had a normal life, well, apart from laboring three skillful eggs that she grew and learned to build strength from - unluckily they were not with her, but her boyfriend, Ikuto at the time. She felt defenseless, useless, but when she snaps and kills one of her own, [ 8 ], she runs off into the woods, dropping the knife as she went.

**8. After this, [ 1 ] and [ 4 ] go out to search for [ 7 ], who is still missing. Has [ 7 ] survived? What state are they in? Or do [ 1 ] and [ 4 ] find a body?**

Grimmjow [ 1 ] and Asch [ 4 ] have a mutual hate for the world. Actually, while searching, they end up bonding and not long after had Grimmjow let out his feelings for having to watch Ichigo, his best friend and secret crush, date Hichigo, one of his school friends. Asch knows what it feels like from keeping his dropped feelings for that dreck, Luke, but now he thinks those feelings have fallen and they become fast friends, maybe more! While as searching, they come across a body, passed out and lying on the ground. It's Hilda! Grimmjow checks for a pulse and finds one, but just barely. He rips his shirt off and begins bandaging the others wounds, then hefts the woman up on his back for the journey back. All the meanwhile, Asch leans against a tree, mentally fighting off a wave of jealousy from the passed out individual and denies that he was drooling.

**9. Night falls on the rainforest, and the remaining group wants to take refuge in the temple. Who is the most scared/nervous about this idea?**

Number eleven, Misaki. He had been on a few vacations prior to this horrible occurrence and one of them had been at an ancient library. He had read about traveling through Temples and know very well how dangerous they can be.

**10. Inside, the group makes too much noise and disturbs a large number of vampire bats. These creatures won't usually feed from humans, and never if they are awake, but do your characters know this? What happens?**

Most do, but the two that don't are Hilda and Ichigo. Now the two of these people are, quite possibly, the smartest in the group, but when it comes to animals like bats and insects they tend to shy away from a topic like that. So naturally when they see a shit ton of black things coming their way, they scream in another direction. The rest of the group watches in humor as the two run around like chickens with their heads cut off, but when they had enough, Hichigo, his lover, who had been cackling like a maniac the whole time, calls out to the two. "Yo! Ichi, big-ass-tits, y'kno they dun fuckin' touch ya when their awake, righ'? Their harmless!" The two stop moving immediately.

Ichigo naturally becomes flustered and walks up to his lover, slapping him in the face. "Why didn't you tell us sooner?!" Ichigo shouted, infuriated. Hichigo only held a sly grin and commented on how adorable he looked, which presumably leaded to Ichigo ignoring the idiot of his. All the meanwhile, Hilda had been fixing herself with an inanimate blush.

**11. In the morning, [ 2 ] finds themselves covered by carnivorous red ants. How do they react?**

Grimmjow, Hichigo, and Asch immediately starts cussing up a storm. Ichigo however, knows what he is doing and, albeit with a lot of difficulty and a lot of hurting, walks into the fountain of water in the center of the Temple hurrily wash of the things. The remainders do the same after watching Ichigo. After the ants were all off and they are completely and utterly adorned from head to toe in welts, Ichigo teased Hichigo, an albino, with how much he stood out. He guessed he got his lover back.

**12. After that, you OCs exit the temple to find that a helicopter is waiting to take them home! How do they feel?**

Fucking ecstatic! They don't know what it was doing there or why it was there, they just wanted to get the fuck out of dodge! When they on their escape route out, the group had realized that sitting in the cock-pit was Sebastian's rich-ass Master, Ceil! Thanking god, they flew out safely and extremely itchy.

**13. Finish the meme by describing who enjoyed the adventure the most!**

Grimmjow! Grimmjow is a sucker for nature and having to live with the wildlife nature; he loves it and that's where he feels as if he is at home. Being a Panther, he has quick and natural survival skills. Not to mention, he got a lover out of it!


End file.
